Okay, picture this: It’s morning. We’re in an Australian rental apartment shared by three buddies (ages 18, 20, and 21) who are, at the moment, slowly coming back to life after a night of drunken hijinks. Blinking in the bright light, one of the guys staggers into the living room and stops to stare.
Are his eyes playing tricks on him? Did somebody slip something into his drink last night? Beginning to panic, he calls for his roommates:
“Does anybody know why there’s a penguin sitting in the middle of our carpet?!”
Nope, this isn’t a scene from The Hangover Part 3. That won’t hit theaters until 2013, but who cares? In the meantime, there are plenty of regular old wasted buffoons doing outrageously stupid (and hilarious) things to keep us entertained!
Like the aforementioned three dudes who just got busted for drunkenly breaking into a Sea World in the middle of the night to swim with dolphins … and steal a penguin. Of course. Cause if you’re gonna go to all the trouble of having an inebriated theme park caper, you might as well steal a penguin in the process. Otherwise, why bother?
The best part, though, is that none of the thieves can even remember what they did. They just woke up the next morning with pounding headaches and a penguin inexplicably wandering around the apartment. So naturally, the next step was to brag about their new feathered friend on Facebook. Which was great fun until the trio realized they must have STOLEN said feathered friend.
So naturally, the next step was to get rid of the evidence — by letting the penguin (who’s 7 years old and goes by the name of Dirk) loose in a canal. A canal in which sharks are often spotted.
I won’t keep you in suspense — Dirk is back home at Sea World, “disheveled” but otherwise unharmed. Meanwhile, thanks to their genius trail of virtual breadcrumbs, his kidnappers are being charged with trespassing, stealing, and unlawfully keeping a protected animal.
The only thing missing from this story is Mike Tyson.
I have ONE word… HANGOVER!